I’m in a serious financial crisis and I’m trying to figure out what my realistic options are.
Last year I had to stop working completely and go on permanent disability because of major health issues. I now receive SSDI, and the amount is just enough to cover my mortgage, HOA fees, utilities, phone bill and basic groceries. There is absolutely no room for extras and no real buffer in my budget.
The problem is what happened during the year-long period when I was applying and waiting for disability to be approved. I couldn’t work at all because of my health, so I was basically in free fall financially and survived by using credit cards. That went on for about a year, and now I’m sitting on roughly 30,000 dollars in credit card debt. These are mostly predatory cards with extremely high interest rates, around 36 percent, partly because I’ve had a bankruptcy in the last several years, which destroyed my access to better credit.
On top of that, I have two children, and I’ve been receiving about 2,000 dollars a month in child support between the two of them. That child support is what allowed me to keep up the minimum payments on all of these cards. I used my disability income to cover the mortgage, HOA and household bills, and relied on the child support mostly for debt payments and expenses for the kids.
One of my children is about to start college next month, and tuition payments are now due. Until recently, I’ve managed to stay current on all minimum payments despite the debt burying me. But in December my ex lost his job. The child support was reduced to about half for a while because I could only receive a portion of his unemployment. Now even that unemployment has stopped, and the support payments have basically dried up.
At this point, my SSDI is completely eaten up by housing and basics. I have no disposable income left at the end of the month. That means I’m at the edge of being unable to keep paying these credit card minimums at all. My ex insists he “can’t find a job,” but that doesn’t change the reality that the money simply isn’t coming in.
Meanwhile, my son’s college tuition has to be paid, or he won’t be allowed to start his first semester. I also have a legal obligation from the divorce: I’m supposed to refinance the mortgage in my own name by 2027. If my credit score collapses because of defaulted credit cards, that refinance becomes almost impossible. Selling the house is really not a viable solution. There’s not enough equity to justify it, my interest rate is very low, and rents in my area are roughly double my current mortgage for a place that would be half the size. On top of that, my older child’s college is only about a mile from our home, and my younger child is in special education with a setup that works for him. Relocating would likely disrupt both kids in a serious way.
I do have two lawsuits pending. One is a medical malpractice case related to my health situation, and the other is a contract dispute with a former employer. Both cases could potentially bring in enough money to clear my debts, but they are still in early stages. Realistically, it could be years before anything settles, and there’s no guarantee of the outcome or the amount.
In the meantime, those 36 percent interest credit cards are about to become completely unpayable. Based on running the numbers and looking at the situation, one possible strategy is to stop making payments, let the accounts go delinquent and eventually be charged off, and conserve as much cash as possible for the essentials: housing, utilities, food, medical needs and the kids. The idea would be to focus on survival, then, if I eventually receive a settlement from one of the lawsuits, try to negotiate with the creditors to settle the debts for a reduced amount and request that they update or remove negative marks where possible.
Morally this feels awful to me. I’ve tried very hard to keep paying everyone. But between disability, no child support, tuition, special education needs, and no room left in my budget, I just don’t see how I can continue making minimum payments indefinitely on predatory cards at 36 percent interest.
I’m also considering whether I should go back to court regarding my divorce agreement. The refinance deadline is currently set for 2027. Given that my ex is now failing to pay the support he was ordered to pay, and that this shortfall is directly contributing to my inability to keep my debts current, I wonder if it would make sense to ask a judge to push back the refinance date or modify that obligation. If my credit tanks because I’m forced to default, I won’t be able to refinance anyway, and I don’t want to be held in violation of a court order for something I realistically can’t control.
Right now I’m trying to understand my priorities and possible next steps:
– Housing and stability for my kids are non‑negotiable. Losing the home or uprooting them would be extremely damaging, especially with one child about to start college nearby and another in special education.
– Basic utilities, medical costs, and food have to come before unsecured debts. If I have to choose between paying a 36 percent interest credit card and keeping the lights on, the card loses.
– My son’s tuition is time‑sensitive. If he misses the deadline, he may lose his spot or have to delay college, which feels like it could have long‑term consequences for him.
– My ex’s lack of child support is a huge factor. It may be necessary to consult a family law attorney or legal aid to enforce the support order, go back to court to revisit the amount or seek a modification of other terms like the refinance requirement, given the change in circumstances.
– I need to think seriously about what happens if the lawsuits don’t pay out, or if they pay less than expected. I can’t build my entire financial plan on hypothetical money that might not come.
I also realize I should probably speak with a consumer bankruptcy or debt attorney to understand the legal implications of simply stopping payments, especially with my prior bankruptcy on record. It may be that I’m not a good candidate for another bankruptcy right now, or that the timing matters. An attorney could explain how charge‑offs, collections, and potential lawsuits by creditors might unfold, and what they can and can’t actually do to me if I’m judgment‑proof because everything I have is protected income and a primary residence.
For now, the path that seems most practical, even though emotionally difficult, is:
– Protect the roof over our heads and the kids’ current schooling and college plans.
– Cut every possible non‑essential expense to free up even a small amount of breathing room.
– Contact the college financial aid office to explore grants, scholarships, payment plans and any special‑circumstance consideration related to disability and loss of support.
– Look into hardship programs with the credit card companies to see if any will reduce interest or pause payments before default.
– If hardship options don’t work and the math still doesn’t add up, accept that I may have to stop paying the predatory cards and deal with the credit damage in order to survive.
– Talk to a lawyer about enforcing child support, modifying divorce terms and understanding my rights with unsecured creditors.
I don’t want to walk away from my obligations, and I’m still hoping one of the legal cases will eventually allow me to clean this up. But as things stand, I’m out of extra income, the support that kept me afloat is gone, and the numbers simply no longer work. I’m trying to choose the least destructive route for myself and my children in a situation where none of the options feel good.